Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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