Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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