Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
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But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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