Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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