wakey wakey hands off snakey
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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