I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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