Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
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He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
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I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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