I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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