My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is not my ceiling
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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