Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
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