just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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