rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize