Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize