he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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