The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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