I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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