I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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