I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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