I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Randomize