just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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