It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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