i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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