be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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