Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize