are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
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I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
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I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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