You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
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Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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