I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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