super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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