im six kinds of drunk right now
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
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woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
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I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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