if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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