i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have already put on my inside pants.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize