There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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