So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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