Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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