i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
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I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
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I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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