thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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