That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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