There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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