it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
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We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
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HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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