yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
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