happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
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