So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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