going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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