My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize