You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
We need to get me chipped asap
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize