5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
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