how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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