Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize