I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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