Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize