After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize